Tag Archives: article

There Are Still 60,000 Slaves In America (And I Was One)

Get insinuate with our new podcast Cracked Gets Personal. Subscribe for quirky, fascinating occurrences like “Inside The Secret Epidemic Of Cops Shooting Dogs” and “Murdered Sex Dolls And Porn Suitcases: What Garbagemen See, “ accessible wherever you get your podcasts … Continue reading

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Above & Beyond Discuss Their New Album And The Time They Almost Got Arrested In Times Square

All right, y’all know the instruct. We went to EZoo, we interviewed Jono and Paavo from Above& Beyond, it took me so long to apply this up because rewriting interviews is a agony the backside, okay? Anyway. If you’re not … Continue reading

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The Biggest Fuckboys On ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Week 4

Welcome back to what I can only hope will be my last week of restating the self-evident doing this fuckboy rank. This week we had a lot of theatre, and a good deal of funny beings being shed into the … Continue reading

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5 Things I’m Fine With My Daughter Getting Suspended Over

My junior high school ordeal was like live your life a neocon reboot of Lord Of The Flies . Teenaged boys rampaged through the hallways, curving their minuscule naked dicks and providing burns while we girlfriends sat through castigates, preparing … Continue reading

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The 4 Most Underratedly Dark Scenes In Disney History

The name “Disney” is basically synonymous with the phrase “happily ever after.” Nearly every Disney movie ends with the main characters defeating the Big Bad, solving their magical problems, and getting married. We’re supposed to believe that everything will be … Continue reading

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Daredevil Can Punch Women: 5 Super-Ignored Superhero Crimes

Superheroes get off with a great deal. They transgress, fight in public, and flaunt their projections in the fronts of good citizens, all in the name of right. But there is a line even superheroes cannot cross — at the … Continue reading

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‘Pretty Little Liars’ Recap: 27 Fugly-Ass Dresses

2 escapades in, exclusively 8 more to get until sweet flexibility from this terrible show that has expended me for far too long. Lord sweet babe Jesus, expel these villains away from my video. Bring back and let me regain … Continue reading

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13 Reasons Why ’13 Reasons Why’ Is A Terrible Show

This weekend, while wet-nurse a wino karaoke hangover from the night before, I decided to see what this whole act was all about. You know, to keep in touch with what the kids are watching these days. Id seen about … Continue reading

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5 Official-Sounding Measurements That Are Complete BS

Raise your hand if you’ve ever sauntered outside on a hot summer daylight, announced, “Damn, what’s the temperature out here? ” and checked a condition app on your phone. Even although you can feel the actual hot , you want … Continue reading

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6 WTF Hollywood Plots (That Are Rapidly Becoming Real Life)

For all of our technology, and discipline, and advanced sex playthings, it doesn’t looks a lot like we’re actually any more prepared for the future than we were 20 years ago, and the future is rapidly shutting in on us … Continue reading

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